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Simplicity In Existing

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Experience

As a woman, I feel as though we lack encouragement for one another in the female circle. We tend to put each other down rather than pull each other up; to the top. You don’t need to put another woman down to get yourself up. On the contrary helping another woman reach the top helps us all; one woman’s success is a success for us all. Also let’s not forget, representation matters, it is important for the younger generation to see all types of women succeed and become someone!! Someone they can look up to; we need all types of women up there to help guide them in this cruel unfair world. So why can’t we be kind to one another? Why can’t we support one another? Why can’t we find it in our hearts to wish each other well?We have so many beautiful, intellectual, and talented women out there who are succeeding in many different categories! Let us not sit here and judge one another. Let us not allow that green monster to let loose. Because lets be real, jealousy and hatred will get us absolutely nowhere, only kindness and support will help us move forward as a gender; and isn’t that what we want?

Learn to be kind, to love for others what you love for yourself, to be happy for others and what they possess and succeed in. For that is the true success.

You know, in some instances holding on can be so much more harmful than letting go. Holding on isn’t always the healthiest option. I know you may love them, care about them, and probably think you can’t live without them…but you can. You just don’t want to. You’re scared. Scared of having to continue life without them; even though staying with them means damage. It means pain. It means suffering. Not everything or everyone we want around is healthy; a lot can be extremely toxic. But being the humans we are, we don’t always care about our own health, especially when it’s someone we truly care about and love. A toxic relationship isn’t a relationship; be it a friendship, a lover, or anything really. A real relationship is a two-way street, meaning both parties must care and love and respect one another; and when one side doesn’t and abuses the fact that the other side does that’s where the toxins of this relationship begins; and eventually never ends. And when you’re not letting go and allowing yourself to leave; that’s where you’ll end up getting burned by all the poison.

One thing I regret doing when I was younger, although it didn’t happen much, was neglecting my parents. I did not give them the attention and time they deserved. As teenagers, we tend to be extremely cruel, especially to those who love and care about us. I wish I listened to my mother when she told me that one day I would regret the time I wasted around her and my Baba, because she knew all about it from her own teenaged experience. I wish we would listen to those older than us, who have been through our exact situations, and learn from them instead of having to go through problems ourselves and deal with all the consequences.

I’m close to my parents, and I love being around them; I always have and always will. I spent a lot of time with them, enjoying their company, learning from them, and so much more. I thought I did everything I needed to utilize the time I had with them. But guess what: Even with all this well spent time with them, I still feel like I didn’t give them the time and attention they truly deserved!

I moved away from home about two years ago and that meant less time with my parents, which was extremely difficult for me. I had never been away from them, and to be frank I didn’t know how I would live without them around me. I left and left them behind, I left and only had the memory of all the good times we spent together. I left broken-hearted. These past two years have been the toughest years of my life, not because I moved to a new state, not because I got married, not because I left my life behind, but because I left my parents’ arms. Not being able to hug my Mama every second of every day, not being able to have heart-to-hearts with my Baba in the middle of the night, not being able to wake up to their beautiful faces, not being able to say goodnight to them every night–it was all so heartbreaking to me, and I physically felt the pain of leaving them. Not going to lie: I cried a lot. I felt a lot of pain, and I took every and any chance to be able to fly back and see them, even if it was just for the weekend.

So for those who live with their parents, treasure that time with them, and appreciate them. Give them the love and attention they deserve, because you never know when the last time you are able to do that for them will be.

Life is a game of cards, you never truly know what comes next. You may think it’s luck, and sometimes it is; but for the most part it’s skills. And with skills comes cockiness and a little too much confidence. You can be confidant but remember to stay humble, because you never know what the next hand is going to look like for you. This is why you need to remember that yes; sure, you’re that person that is kind, that is a good influence, that is always doing/trying to do what’s right, and so on…but one day out of the blue you could become that other person you once looked down on and saw yourself way better than them. When you’re kind and doing what’s right you should be doing this for yourself and your lord, not so you can look at others that do something wrong -or perceived as wrong- and you think “hey I’m a better person than said person because I don’t -do whatever wrong they do-”. Because guess what, one day you could easily be them; you have no idea. Imagine years later you’re doing exactly what the person you once looked down upon did. How do you think that will make you feel? What do you think that says about the kind of person you are?

Like the hadeeth says:

كان النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم يكثر أن يقول:

يا مثبت القلوب ، ثبت قلبي على دينك ، قالوا : يا رسول الله ، آمنا بك وبما جئت به ، فهل تخاف علينا ؟ قال : نعم ، إن القلوب بين إصبعين من أصابع الله يقلبها .

The Prophet (sallahAllaahu alayhi wasallam) used to often say these words, “O You Who changes the hearts, make my heart firm on Your religion.” We said, `O Allah’s Messenger! We believed in you and in what you brought us. Are you afraid for us’ He said, Yes, for the hearts are between two of Allah’s Fingers, He changes them (as He wills)”

[Sunan Ibn Majah, Book of Du’a Hadeeth 3834]

This is how easy one person can go from one extreme to the next. You’re no saint neither is anyone in this world, so remember to be humble.

 

It’s the small accomplishments that truly matter to me. I noticed It’s the baby steps that I take that really get me to the top. Nothing like accomplishing something you’ve set your mind to; something you’ve put all your time and effort into. I found that with the small accomplishment’s I make…the more confidence I gain; the more I feel like I can do anything I set my mind to. I feel smart and capable, and if I truly wanted it, I can get it. The end result is so satisfying…that it makes me want to keep pushing forward and keep on challenging myself and setting higher goals that I know I can reach. Because I was able to do so with previous goals I’ve set and truly thought I couldn’t accomplish until I saw those small accomplishments with each step I was taking. 

Love is reminding them to pray,Love is covering them when they fall asleep,

Love is rushing from work to their side when they’re not feeling well,

Love is giving them the last piece of chocolate,

Love is buying the exact snacks they love when grocery shopping,

Love is putting aside your pride and be there for them in time of need,

Love is massaging their feet when they’ve been standing all day, 

Love is bringing them lunch and spend their lunch break with them,

Love is knowing when to let go and move on, 

Love is all these little things, 

These little things that make a difference.

A couple months ago, I had a trip to Puerto Rico and oh my, I don’t think I’ve ever seen nature that beautiful. Being there felt so surreal and mind boggling…you can’t just see nature like that and not feel anything. God is great, God is beautiful, and God only creates beauty. I felt like I was in this heaven that all I could think of doing when seeing such beauty was to thank God for it, was to pray between the sand and the ocean, and was to sit down and think of all the creations that surrounded me. I was blown away by the greenery; from the different palm trees to the beautiful blankets of grass. I was astonished by the different shades of blue I saw in the ocean. I was introduced to many different new plants and fruits that I didn’t even know existed. This trip more than anything was a trip to strengthen my faith, I mean how can you see all this beauty and not thank God for it?
 

☺️

With everything that’s going on in the world…the only thing that keeps me going is knowing that God is always with us. That He won’t allow something bad to happen without something good coming out of it, that He knows best and we just need to trust and have faith in Him; Tawakul. ❤

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